I feel most unsure these days about going back into acting.
Some days, I look forward to it, but other days...
Going with BF to watch their rehearsal was a depressing experience. Their work was great, really funny, but the people, almost all whom I know, many of whom I've done two or three plays with, feel like strangers. The barrier that comes up between people when they're no longer working together... I don't like it.
BF says I have to get used to it if I'm gonna continue to be in theater, but it just seems so unnatural to me, and it makes me sad.
So do I wanna be a part of it just for a while?
I can't decide.
I also get sad over BF's party invites with the rest of his cast. I'm not invited, of course, but BF's idea to ask if he can bring me as his date... No. It's beneath me.
So the question is, do I, half-way wanna be part of this community? It seems to be either sort of, or nothing at all.